I saw the nutritionist again last week. I really like her. We talked about what I've been eating, how many times a week I go to the gym, or get some kind of exercise, and we talked about how I feel like this is really hard. My exact words were "I feel like this is so hard for me." Her response? "Because it IS hard." That made me feel better. All in all I felt really good about what we talked about, I always learn a lot when I'm there and I leave feeling empowered. I made another appointment and I think that I will see her for a while.
Craig and I are hoping to start IVF in January. I still have some internal things that need to clear up but as of this moment that's the plan. And the other day I was eating lunch and I starting thinking about trying to eat good and prepare my body for a baby. Not just for me but more so for the health of the baby. I was thinking of a couple of things: 1) How lucky am I that I actually have the chance to prepare my body for the baby? Not many people get that opportunity. It's usually just a surprise and they try to eat well while they're pregnant, or not. But I feel very educated about what the babies need will be and how important it is for me to start eating well now. Especially having PCOS. 2) I'm building the foundations in my body like one would build the foundation of a house. Hopefully my future baby will be living in a mansion!
I have bad days and some times bad weeks, which I spoke to my nutritionist about, and she said that I need to just get up and dust myself off. The more self destructive thing would be to get really down on myself and tell myself that I'm loser, etc. Right now I have more good days than bad days and I'll settle for that. This is something that I will have to struggle with the rest of my life. Not just because of my weight but because I have PCOS. There is no cure. But it can be managed. Just like people take a pill for some illness, my management is eating healthy and exercising. For the rest of my life.
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